Mixed Signals : Why Girls (sometimes) Stupefy Guys

I had a day off from work this week and I squandered it shameless on re-watching North and South. On second thoughts though, I don't think that counts as squandering. After all, this is only my second time watching the series. When I first watched it in its glorious entirety, I was so drunk with amazement that I solemnly made a pact with myself to watch the series at least once a month to refresh my aging memory.

Note to self: Pacts are obviously disregarded by a certain girl named Marie.

Anyway. I forced invited two of my Jane Austen and BBC- loving friends over to watch with me. After all, it's much more fun to have partners who can swoon on cue with you whenever John Thornton walks across the screen. Which, I'm happy to note, was pretty often.

But my friend raised an interesting point. We were having a friendly tiff because she claimed she didn't like Margaret, while I did. After wondering briefly which planet she was from, I asked her why she didn't like Margaret.
" Because she gives mixed signals!" came the prompt reply.
Mixed signals?

Oh yes. Of course Margaret heartily detests John Thornton at first sight. That is the way of all True Romance stories. But the fact that she is undeniably attracted to this just as undeniably hot mill owner throws a shining spanner in the works rather. Margaret intends to snub John Thornton for the rest of her life. Yet, by the end of Episode 2, he proposes to her. Why? Well, not because the screenwriter dictated that he must, if you're going to throw the literal answer at me.
We all understand that Thornton is a businessman. He weighs the pros and cons carefully. He is not the sort to go charging where fools fear to tread. He despises dubious activities such as speculation. Yet he proposes to Margaret, a girl who the viewers know cares nothing for him (yet).
So what is the reason for such reckless behaviour?
Mixed Signals.
Margaret declares to her family that she does not find JT ( yes, I've dared to abbreviate his name) a gentleman ( in other words, attractive). She makes sure he knows it too. And yet, he asks her to marry him??
Well, there is that dinner where Margaret appears in a dress that makes her look like a boiled cabbage. She actually shakes hands with him (gasp) and smiles at him ( greater gasp). She then throws him one or two interested looks.
Ye-es. There is something there all right.
Then, at the scene where the strikers are rioting, Margaret screams at him for being a coward, and tells him to go face the strikers like a man. Ouch. The next second, however, she adds ," Take care."

No wonder Thornton was a tad befuddled. Especially after she runs after him and tries to "save" him. Or at least that's how it looks like to everyone but her. After all, Margaret's probably the queen of impulsiveness who likes to act on her feelings. And if her feelings are mixed, then so are her actions. Which result in-
Mixed Signals.

Let's move on to another confused couple. Guy of Gisbourne and Marian. My friend also didn't like Marian because she said Marian was guilty of the same crime as Margaret.

Yup, the dreaded Mixed Signals.
Marian is in love with Robin. That's an undisputed point. But what's also undisputed is that her feelings for Guy are not all straightforward and above board. Real Life rarely is, and while I am in no way saying that Robin Hood resembles real life (feel free to disagree with me), I am saying that it's understandable that Marian is attracted to and cares for Guy.

While Marian can defend herself by saying that she's leading Guy on while helping Robin, I don't think she regards Guy the same way as she does the Sheriff. After all, the Sheriff knows she detests him. No confusion there. Is it any wonder that Guy thinks she's falling for him, despite the fact that she unceremoniously jilted him at the altar?

Which brings me to the point of this whole post (at last!). Mixed Signals are dangerous little fireworks, ready to explode. We must be very careful about the impression we as girls are leaving on guys. I myself am guilty of sending off mixed signals, and I sincerely pity those poor perplexed boys who probably spent many a half-hour wondering what I was up to. Well, let me not flatter myself. They probably only spent a minute in wonder. But why did I do it?

Past experience has taught me that guys who show interest in me generally lose that interest once I tell them the truth i.e that I'm not into romantic relationships at the moment and am concentrating on my relationship with God rather than focusing on guys. I myself would like to remain friends, but I've realised that my stance is not going to earn me any brownie points with them. Hence I shamefully resorted to Mixed Signals to keep their interest. I think a bit of pride was thrown in too.

However, now that I know the danger of mixed signals, I've decided that such actions are not Christian. After all, Jesus was always transparent with everyone he met. Such transparency resulted in many of his followers deserting him, and some were annoyed at his gentle but firm stating of the facts. If this is a WWJD question, then I know the answer.

Henceforth I will be as transparent and as truthful as I can in my words and actions. It will obviously not be easy, but the Christian life, as Jesus warned, is not easy. However, it will be much more worthwhile and rewarding. And I will not trade my relationship with God for a relationship with any guy in the world, even if the guy happens to be John Thornton. :)

* Screencaps from RichardArmitageNet.